The Salt Quiz
Who's the king of the Salt Mine?
This is a quick list of quotations from players who might’ve been a little ticked off at the time of being interviewed, and were not quite so gracious as they ought’ve been.
Simply guess who the quotation belongs to. Bonus points if you can guess the opponent and/or match! I've edited out names to remove giveaway clues.
I'll add more as and when I come across them. It'll probably be updated periodically, every couple of months or so. Obviously, if you want to add your own, don't post comments from matches just ended as that destroys the quiz element!
A - 'There used to be a thing on television - The Comedians - and the brunt of all the jokes was 'dead people in bus shelters in Morecambe'. I think they had them all transported from Morecambe to Derby today because the audience was so flat I couldn't raise a gallop. ... It was so dead this afternoon the audience looked to me as though they were all on valium. [...] John Williams looked at [the free ball incident] and changed his mind. The referee seemed very inconsistent under the circumstances. And I did ask for a second opinion but the man was very brash about the whole thing, and said, 'No I'm the senior referee - No, you can't'. [...] I'm going to insist when we have a meeting that referees at regular times have regular eye tests'.
B - 'It was tough. The playing conditions were in front of everyone's eyes to see how bad it was [...] It was pretty much impossible to get on a roll and make big breaks. The balls were bouncing all over the place off the cushions. The biggest shame is that it hasn't taken someone to play their best to beat me because I felt as though that was definitely going to have to be the case after my second round match. [My opponent] the champion he is adapted to the conditions better than me so what can I say he is a worthy winner. When two players use this brand of chalk called Taom chalk you don't get any kicks or big bounces, they just don't happen. And [my opponent] doesn't like using the Taom chalk because it doesn't grip as well on his tip .... I did fear the worst when he got through against Stuart. On one hand I love to play him, but on the other there was the potential for all the chalk to come off and go on to the table and create the big bounces and kicks. It is tough to take and [my opponent] will tell you the conditions were as bad as it gets'.
C - 'I thought I was a bit unlucky to lose in the end. He played really well in the last 4 or 5 frames but I think after I made that clearance at 12-11 you just want a chance in the last frame and I thought he kind of twitched that red and left it safe. A lot times I play him he plays some amazing snooker at times that you can't play against, and I just stuck in there and you've got to get the luck against him and time and time again it just doesn't happen'.
D - 'In my estimation, [xxxx] is not a Snooker person. He is a money person. the more he gets, the more he wants. He will never be sated. He puts money before country. He belongs back in Coalisland. He is not fit to wear this badge, the red hand of Ulster'.
E - 'I was heavily hamstrung in a way. I had really bad tip problems coming into the match. That was pretty evident last night and I really struggled with that. I thought I did pretty well to keep it 6-3. ... People talk about whether it's an advantage coming in, I'd have to agree ... Apart from playing Ronnie first round I'd be happy to play anyone first round knowing I've won three matches within a week and someone else is coming in cold and you've got the ranking points secure and all that sort of stuff ... I'd rather play three matches all day long ... I definitely would. I'd rather play three matches coming in than be a seed for sure. If you're not good enough to win the three matches to get here you're not going to win first round here anyway. If someone runs out of steam it's their own fault for not being in the right shape or mentally strong enough.'
F - 'Nothing really went right for me today, I thought that was obvious. Snooker is just one of those games where you're only allowed to play as well as the balls present themselves to you in every frame. So many frames are different to each other, and I just felt I never had a really good run of it. That combined with [xxxx] playing a fantastic match, he's got to take credit for taking his advantage because even though he was coming to the table and the balls were all there, he still had to pot the balls. .... Snooker is a funny game. Personally it's very frustrating a game where if you're better than the opponent you don't always get the right rubs and stuff like that. You watch tennis and if you play better than the other guy you win. It's a bit frustrating but that's the game we play and it can create many upsets. If it were the top 4 players in the semis of every event it would be pretty boring'.
G - 'Jimmy played a blatant push shot in the tenth frame which he didn't say anything about and I can't believe the referee hasn't seen it ... The table was rolling off, but then again they always do here, it's the worst venue on the circuit .... I didn't want to say anything [about my illness] because it would have given Jimmy some encouragement before the match. But that wasn't why I lost - I was just absolutely pathetic. ... I'm gutted because I didn't think Jimmy was too hard a match. He was solid enough but usually if you put him under pressure, he'll crack ... I'd had enough of the cue so I threw it into the daffodils. I'm getting a new three-piece maple cue for next season so it doesn't matter'.
H - 'You're short, you're bald. You always will be and you can have me outside whenever you want'.
I - 'Yes'.
J - 'I couldn't believe how slowly [xxxx] was playing in the first session. He was absolutely crawling around the table. I've never seen anyone play so slowly. I personally think he should be pulled up about it. ... It was scandalous, bordering on cheating. It really did get to me but that's my own fault. I think he was out of order, he was bending down looking at the angle of every shot, even when he was breaking off. If I had played as slow as that I would've been pulled up. It was just so deliberate'.
K - 'It's a joke. When I play like that I feel like packing it in. I'm losing to people who shouldn't be in the same room. That's one of the worst three performances of my career'.
L - 'The table was the worst I've played on in six years as a professional. It rolled off all over the place. ... I detest Mike Hallett. Just ask any of the other players on the circuit. It's because of his attitude.'
M - 'Well chaps, the current events over the past few weeks have not been very good, this way or the other. So I would like to announce my retirement from professional snooker. I don't want to be part of a cartel. I don't want to be part of a game where there are slush funds for everybody, where the players are mucked about. I don't want to be ever again in my lifetime to get less than job satisfaction. If Derek Jameson, for instance, can leave the News of the World and go to Sky TV, then there has got to be a place for me in this life. I'm not playing snooker anymore because this game is the most corrupt game in the world. It needs to be brought to the attention of the Department of Trade and Industry. There are an awful lot of people running about this world who put their kids through certain schools, feeder schools, grammar schools and you get absolute tossers doing jobs for exorbitant money. Well, I don't want to be part of it, so you can shove your snooker up your jacksey. I'm not playing no more and it's not sour grapes, nothing. It's the truth. I wish Cecil Parkinson and Maggie Thatcher would do a probe into snooker then we would actually find out the real truth. [I don't] want to be part of this tripe anymore, no disrespect to the Northern people because I like tripe. There's a thing called job satisfaction. I don't want to be part of a cartel, corruption, whatever. That is the end of the story. I hate it, abhor it. I'm not going to break the cue because I like the cue, but it's a corrupt game. Excuse me, I've not finished, I've not finished ... rock on Tommy. The people who work within the game appal me. I won't be using a cue again. I've had all sorts of rubbish thrown at me by the media in the past six or seven years. I was supposed to be a stalwart of the game, the guy who took all the brunt. The kid who took all the brunt is absolutely sick up to here. I'm not prepared to take it any longer. It has interrupted my private life, my children's life and a few relationships. Let's see how you do without me because I ain't playing no more. I might do overseas trips and teach kids from Amsterdam. I don't like the WPBSA - the way they do things, they can throw me out, shove me out, I couldn't give a damn. I cannot handle some of the untruths. I am going to the law courts. I am going to fight the newspapers. I have plenty on my plate. One of the first papers I'll go for is The Star, The Sun and what's the other one?'
N - 'I considered it unprofessional and immature and I was surprised by [xxx]'s reaction even though it made no odds to me. I've never directed that kind of thing at anyone ... I've never done that, but given the person in question, I'm not surprised'.
O - 'I felt it was disrespectful to me and the game. Obviously like if you're playing anyone else ... there's not many players who'd just get down and hit them 100mph when you put them in a snooker. Sometimes they will try and work it out, try and play safe or try and get you in trouble back but I just felt he was doing that throughout the match really. So I just thought it was a little disrespectful to me and the game, but you’ll have to ask [xxxx] about himself'.
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Empire State Human - Posts: 1160
- Joined: 09 March 2019
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