Let's spotlight the n00bs and follow their shootout progress
As is tradition (well, 2nd time now) I shall endeavour to follow the progress of all the players at the Snooker Shootout who are so obscure and relatively unknown that they don't even have a Wikipedia page dedicated to them yet.
There's quite a haul of them this year, so without further ado, better crack on:
Round 1:
Liam Davies was in the 2nd match to play. He kinda looks like someone who'd've had a starring role in the old television series Grange Hill. He started well, with a blindingly good break of 3. Alas, his fifteen minutes of fame turned out to be more like 15 seconds as his opponent proceeded to make a century break off his next shot. Back to ol' chalking board for Liam:
Next up was Simon Blackwell, who threw everyone for six when he came out looking exactly like his opponent in the dim light. As they came into the spotlight it became much easier to tell them apart, Blackwell was the one with slightly blonder hair. They both then proceeded to play equally terribly. The terrible twins. Even though he left his opponent more chances than Barry Hawkins had in the Masters Final, Blackwell somehow managed to win. More by default really:
I was surprised to find that Dylan Emery doesn't have a Wikipedia page yet, I could have sworn I'd seen his name during the season in the last 128 of various events. His obscurity is surely soon to be at an end. It was quite difficult getting a good photo of Dylan, every time I went to take a snap his cue would flash into view and completely cover him from view. He started well, then he started looking comfortable, then he saw wot 'e dun, and he dun it bad, but it wasn't over yet! Was it? Was it? Oh yes, it was, there was only 2 seconds left:
Next up was going to be a good laugh. We were going to get to see a top seasoned professional possibly make a small boy called Sam Moody cry on live television. The toddler strode out with all the confidence of someone who'd just got what they wanted for Christmas, and proceeded to whack in a screamer of long pot. He didn't stop there, quickly hammering in a few more professional level pots. But wait! Oh the tragedy! Cueing awkwardly over the cluster of reds, he drifts the white into the corner pocket! Oh well, now for the pro to do his thing.
The poor pro completely failed to do his thing & the pre-schooler was back in, knocking them in off the lampshades, one after the other. Surely, a famous upset? But no! Wait! Oh, that wasn't ideal, the pro's back in! And does nothing! The infant jumps for joy and punches a few flies out the air while the poor seasoned professional starts learning to live with this rather humiliating defeat, a small tear or two forming in his eye:
Fresh off the set of the latest episode of Vera, where he plays Policeman No.4, Heydon Pinhey was the last of the afternoon n00bs. Towering over his opponent he looked to have all the grace of a bull in a china shop, and proceeded to pot in a similar fashion, blasting in a few crackers before completely shanking some really ugly no hopers. The frame ebbed and flowed between competing 10 and 20 breaks. Somehow he was ahead, somehow he looked favourite to win. Surely! Alas no, one shank too many, and he knew it instantly, that would be it for him:
There's quite a haul of them this year, so without further ado, better crack on:
Round 1:
Liam Davies was in the 2nd match to play. He kinda looks like someone who'd've had a starring role in the old television series Grange Hill. He started well, with a blindingly good break of 3. Alas, his fifteen minutes of fame turned out to be more like 15 seconds as his opponent proceeded to make a century break off his next shot. Back to ol' chalking board for Liam:
Next up was Simon Blackwell, who threw everyone for six when he came out looking exactly like his opponent in the dim light. As they came into the spotlight it became much easier to tell them apart, Blackwell was the one with slightly blonder hair. They both then proceeded to play equally terribly. The terrible twins. Even though he left his opponent more chances than Barry Hawkins had in the Masters Final, Blackwell somehow managed to win. More by default really:
I was surprised to find that Dylan Emery doesn't have a Wikipedia page yet, I could have sworn I'd seen his name during the season in the last 128 of various events. His obscurity is surely soon to be at an end. It was quite difficult getting a good photo of Dylan, every time I went to take a snap his cue would flash into view and completely cover him from view. He started well, then he started looking comfortable, then he saw wot 'e dun, and he dun it bad, but it wasn't over yet! Was it? Was it? Oh yes, it was, there was only 2 seconds left:
Next up was going to be a good laugh. We were going to get to see a top seasoned professional possibly make a small boy called Sam Moody cry on live television. The toddler strode out with all the confidence of someone who'd just got what they wanted for Christmas, and proceeded to whack in a screamer of long pot. He didn't stop there, quickly hammering in a few more professional level pots. But wait! Oh the tragedy! Cueing awkwardly over the cluster of reds, he drifts the white into the corner pocket! Oh well, now for the pro to do his thing.
The poor pro completely failed to do his thing & the pre-schooler was back in, knocking them in off the lampshades, one after the other. Surely, a famous upset? But no! Wait! Oh, that wasn't ideal, the pro's back in! And does nothing! The infant jumps for joy and punches a few flies out the air while the poor seasoned professional starts learning to live with this rather humiliating defeat, a small tear or two forming in his eye:
Fresh off the set of the latest episode of Vera, where he plays Policeman No.4, Heydon Pinhey was the last of the afternoon n00bs. Towering over his opponent he looked to have all the grace of a bull in a china shop, and proceeded to pot in a similar fashion, blasting in a few crackers before completely shanking some really ugly no hopers. The frame ebbed and flowed between competing 10 and 20 breaks. Somehow he was ahead, somehow he looked favourite to win. Surely! Alas no, one shank too many, and he knew it instantly, that would be it for him:
-
LDS - Posts: 11394
- Joined: 31 October 2020
- Snooker Idol: Ray Reardon
- Highest Break: 32
- Walk-On: Borderline https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZuhiwyyunw